YOU ARE WORTHY OF VALIDATION.

Grief

Grief and love are two sides of the same coin. To love is to one day know grief. Like any other emotion, grief needs to be felt and acknowledged. Grief can be felt after the loss of a loved one, a pet, a friend, or even with someone we barely knew. Grief can also be experienced when we lose a relationship, or a job, or an opportunity, even if a death has not occurred. Grief can sit in our bodies and shape our nervous systems in much the same way that trauma does. How do we feel and experience the loss of not having what we should have had—a loving childhood home, a safe school experience, grown-ups that cared for us, or a culture that sees us as equal? This type of grief is covert and can even be hard to acknowledge, yet it is grief nonetheless.

Attending to grief and allowing it to be felt can be scary, uncomfortable and overwhelming, to say the least. Grief can feel traumatic because it changes our neurobiology and biochemistry. Feeling tired and exhausted but unable to sleep, racing heart rate, high or low blood pressure, feeling activated but also numb, finding it difficult to think or stay organized, losing your appetite or wanting to eat everything in sight, all are natural physical responses to grief.

Grief is not always straightforward. Sometimes grief can be disenfranchised or not allowed. Other times grief is ambiguous or hard to define. No matter how the experience of grief shows up in our lives, being acknowledged, heard and seen is important. Remember that grief is a natural and healthy experience. My approach is to listen to your experience with the entire purpose, allowing you to be seen in your grief.

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